#1: You Say More Than You Think: A 7-Day Plan for Using the New Body Language to Get What You Want by Janine Driver and Mariska van Aalst.
This book is an easy read and is laid out in seven-day format to help you recognize and understand body language when communicating with people. This will also help you to be aware of your own body language which will help you from sending mixed signals. Janine is a former ATF agent and is a renowned body language expert. You can learn more about her here.
#2: Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone by Mark Goulston
Listening is a learned skillset. Most of us are not born natural listeners. There is a reason that this book is rated almost 5 stars on Amazon. Mark spent over 25 years as a professor of psychiatry for UCLA. He has also trained police and FBI hostage negotiators. Check Mark out here.
#3: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss
The power of persuasion is not intuitive. Sure, there are sometimes when you truly know the exact right thing to say at the exact right time. We all have the ability to read the room sometimes. What Chris goes into in his book is an actual strategy of nine separate principles to help you win at negotiation. Some of which are surprisingly counter intuitive. Chris is a former police officer, who joined the FBI and became their lead negotiator for international kidnappings. You can check out some of the other trainings Chris provides here.
#4: Tongue Fu!: How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict by Sam Horn
So don’t let the cheeky title of this book throw you off. This book is full of easy to remember simple to implement tactics when confronting verbal conflict. I recommend this more for handling interoffice conflict as opposed to utilizing on the street. Sam has written multiple books, runs a consulting agency and is also a key note speaker. Sam’s work has been featured in BusinessWeek, New York Times, Forbes, and the Huffington Post just to list a few. Sam also has a new book coming out in 2023 titled Talking on eggshells. Check Sam Out here.
#5: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Joseph Grenny
In this book Grenny lays out his seven dialogue principles for having stressful but crucial conversations. This book will help you at work, at home with your children and spouse, and on the street. Joseph is a four time New York Times best selling author. Joseph is a social scientist that has conducted social science studies for the last 30 years designed to help businesses increase performance. See what Grenny is up to here.
Why it is important.
We are first responders, cops, firefighters, paramedics, dispatchers etc. Most importantly we are all human first. We have the same fears, anxieties and nuanced thinking that separates us from each other. This also makes communicating in stressful environments difficult and challenging. Take the time to read one of these books and increase your own skill set. Comment below what books you would add to my list.